Dating In The Now

Coming from a proud, card-carrying member of Generation X, dating in the now can be beyond frustrating. It used to be you meet someone at work, through a friend, at a bar, etc. You were forced to know how to make eye contact, have a conversation, get to know that person via a series of phone conversations and dates. You automatically recognized if you were attracted to the person, feel that connection, and, most importantly, know that they are real. Now, however, it leaves me disillusioned and aggravated. If you are feeling the same way, this article is for you.

It is super important to have significant boundaries when using dating apps/websites.

Do not give any personal information; phone number, kids’ names, address. There are a ton of creepers out there that can’t be trusted.

BEWARE OF CATFISHERS

If you do not remember matching with them, they are a catfisher

If they begin their conversation saying “Hi beautiful” or anything like that, they are most likely a catfisher.

Do they type in broken English? Do they work for the government? Are they currently out of the country? These are signs of a catfisher!

If they say they live in the area, are they familiar with landmarks, restaurants, etc.?

LET’S MEET

I commonly hear from clients that they have spoken with someone they met on an app/site. When they say “speaking,” they are saying that they are messaging with someone. So, they make plans to meet and then…

The person disappears

The person cancels plans at the last minute

They are stuck somewhere and needs you to send them money

No reason to continue to pursue after any of these things happen. Especially, asking for money!! That is pretty obvious, I hope.

I LOVE YOU

Is this person coming on way too strong? Are they love-bombing you?

While it can feel amazing at the moment, this is not a good sign. Either they are catfishers looking for money or toxic and do not have healthy boundaries. Beware of the signs of co-dependency

PICTURES

Anyone that is posting pictures that are old and blurry…I would think if that is the type of person you want to be with? To not take the time to post a current photo seems like they are hiding something or lazy. I have a thing about people taking selfies in the bathroom mirror. If the pictures look professionally done, I would proceed with caution.

It will take a lot of pieces of hay to find your needle in the haystack. Here are some tips to help you…

Know who you are and whom you are looking for. Do not compromise on important things.

If something feels like a flag and looks like a flag…guess what? It is a flag. Pay attention.

Do not fill in the blanks. Ask questions, don’t be shy. If this is the person for you, then they will be happy to answer.

No one is going to change for you. Do not change yourself for them.

Did I miss anything? Comment below.

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